


Failure to Try

by iOnlyDateSuperheroes (QueenUndertheBloodyMountain)



Series: And Nightmares Shall Plague Him [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Character Death, F/M, Graphic depictions of violence - Freeform, Minor Character Deaths, Minor canon divergence, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reader-Insert, Sorry Not Sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-06-06
Packaged: 2018-07-12 14:33:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7109380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenUndertheBloodyMountain/pseuds/iOnlyDateSuperheroes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No matter how much he wants to deny it, he can't fix what he's already broken.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Failure to Try

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'd by the ever wonderful [scarlettvision](http://archiveofourown.org/users/scarlettvision/pseuds/scarlettvision)

_The opposing agent’s neck snapped easily under his hands, the weight of the motion fluid and easy to the practiced man. And Jack Rollins was a very well practiced man._

_He led his portion of the Strike team quickly through the Triskelion, eliminating any and all enemy agents, loyal to SHIELD as they went._

_Another three agents fell to his pistol, seven total to the small team, the other agents barely being able to aim their own weapons before Strike made their move. Almost there, just two more floors to go. Rumlow and Pierce were counting on him—Hydra—was counting on him…_

_He held his hand up to halt the team before they rounded a corner; waiting until the fast approaching footsteps were close enough, he grabbed the oncoming agent and twisted their neck as well. He started to drop the body until he caught a very familiar scent of perfume…_

_He looked down and his breath caught in his throat, hands and lips trembling as he fell to his knees with his fiancé’s body in his arms._

He woke up without being able to bite back his scream tonight. Almost like he had nearly every night since—

Well, since.

He shook his head to try and throw the images of you from his mind, rolling out of bed to get a glass of cold water to calm his shaking hands. He knew it wouldn’t really work; it hadn’t worked any of the other times before either, but he still tried each time. Tried to wrestle with the horror of what he’d done, real and imagined, and tried to accept everything that had happened, and would happen, since. He scrubbed his hands hard over his face, not even admitting to himself that his cheeks were wet again.

It would never erase the fact that he had kil—murdered, that he had murdered his own wife, his mind helpfully provided. Nor would it erase the fact that almost every night he had woken up almost screaming her name, wanting to hold her and beg her forgiveness.

His fingers gravitated to the silver ring, circling the skin-warmed metal lightly with trembling fingertips, as he bowed his head and let the grief consume him all over again.

Jack Rollins was a stubborn man, even if he would never admit it; but if it would somehow make it so, he would admit anything to anybody, if he could just take everything back for you.

He had failed you, and he couldn’t even try to deny it.

**~FIN~**


End file.
